why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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