I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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