Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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