I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
