I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
