Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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