how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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