I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I didn't notice because vodka
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
