In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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