Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
