It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
