Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
