I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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