drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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