It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
