Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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