Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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