Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
