How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think brook has ever known best
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
