How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
