Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
