you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
