Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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