yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
