At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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