It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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