covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize