Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
