My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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