Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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