Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
