On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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