guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize