how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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