The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
