Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
