My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
