I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize