I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
