they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
