just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
