Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
