U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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