Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
