Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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