I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Bring me that man meat
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Never underestimate the power of titties
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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