hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize