dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
