Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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