haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
