Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
