people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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