I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
