And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
