I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize