I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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