It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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