On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
