I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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