i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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