he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
