By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
