dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize