Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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