You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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