New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
